Monday, August 01, 2005
finally!!
finally i got a place where i can just utter out any nuisance popping in my head.. and i mean anything.. its been a while since the only thing that i've been doing is thinking... and a lot of thinking.. i've these thousands of emotions that i want 2 share with someone but i just simply dont know who. we all go through this or maybe its just me. but you really dont wanna come out as weak and vulnerable to others when you're going through a rough patch. atleast i dont.
things can go from wrong to worst in your life, and you feel pathetic when you realize when its simply nothing that you'll do will make it better, or worse. you feel helpless when you know it totally depends on someone else.
since the day1 we broke up, infact, she broke up with me. i was shattered. i've no emotions bubbling up in my heart anymore. except for my parents. believe me, i dont even feel like crying because i know it simple ain't gonna help me. i spent a year and a half with her, and its just that i just cant simply stop thinking about how life would've been if we had'nt split. these days, most of the time i just sit in front of my computer doing nothing but wondering why this happened, and how the fuck do i get out of this lousy phase. i wanna enjoy life again. i used to be a fuckin chatterbox and i wanna feel like this again. everything used to be so much funny and whacky. now i m going whacky. i dont even know how to keep a friggin conversation going on when a hot chick approaches me in a university. everything i say is usually in a stubborn attitude, bottom line i dont like talking to anyone. and neither want any1 to talk 2 me.
its been a long time, since i m usually on drugs and high everynite. i know this all makes sense and makes one jump to the conclusion that i've given up. but i just can't seem to help it. all this time when i am drunk, i seem to enjoy things. but the second i get sober i just feel like going to a place somewhere there's only my choice of music, alcohol and hash; unlimited in supplies, all alone. i don't need a fucking company. i just wanna sit and wonder. wonder where and what went wrong in my life that lead me to go through this fucking patch of life.
since, atleast for the time being i've decided to make this blog my crib you'd be seeing a occassional posts from me abt whts going on through my mind.
things can go from wrong to worst in your life, and you feel pathetic when you realize when its simply nothing that you'll do will make it better, or worse. you feel helpless when you know it totally depends on someone else.
since the day1 we broke up, infact, she broke up with me. i was shattered. i've no emotions bubbling up in my heart anymore. except for my parents. believe me, i dont even feel like crying because i know it simple ain't gonna help me. i spent a year and a half with her, and its just that i just cant simply stop thinking about how life would've been if we had'nt split. these days, most of the time i just sit in front of my computer doing nothing but wondering why this happened, and how the fuck do i get out of this lousy phase. i wanna enjoy life again. i used to be a fuckin chatterbox and i wanna feel like this again. everything used to be so much funny and whacky. now i m going whacky. i dont even know how to keep a friggin conversation going on when a hot chick approaches me in a university. everything i say is usually in a stubborn attitude, bottom line i dont like talking to anyone. and neither want any1 to talk 2 me.
its been a long time, since i m usually on drugs and high everynite. i know this all makes sense and makes one jump to the conclusion that i've given up. but i just can't seem to help it. all this time when i am drunk, i seem to enjoy things. but the second i get sober i just feel like going to a place somewhere there's only my choice of music, alcohol and hash; unlimited in supplies, all alone. i don't need a fucking company. i just wanna sit and wonder. wonder where and what went wrong in my life that lead me to go through this fucking patch of life.
since, atleast for the time being i've decided to make this blog my crib you'd be seeing a occassional posts from me abt whts going on through my mind.
# posted by wanderlust @ 12:08 PM 
